When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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