My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
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This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
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Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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