we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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