best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
