Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize