they're staring at me
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.