it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
