I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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