Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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