is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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