You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
