If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
