i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
