this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
