he puts the penis in happiness.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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