I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
