there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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