OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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