Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
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No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
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We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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