Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
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