Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?