You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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