and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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