9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize