Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
