Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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