real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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