I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
third nipple confirmed
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
