Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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