the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
