I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
