I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
