You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
