And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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