how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
