I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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