): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
