marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize
