Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
