hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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