cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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