so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
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So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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