you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
