im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
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