In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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