the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
