party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
