More tranny stories later!
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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