After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
