I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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