Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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