i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
