but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
