fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
