i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
