You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
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