If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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