i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
